How Could You
by Kari Kurofai
Summary: Dying, and leaving me behind? It's not fair . . . I never wanted this, I wanted you to come home. TigerFire Slash


**How Could You**

He'd known all along, he'd always known. Known that no matter what happened, Tigerstar would have to die. And now that he was staring down at the lifeless warrior, and the empty amber eyes, he couldn't understand why it had happened. The grief inside him was overwhelming, and if his entire clan wasn't watching him, he might have simply collapsed from the pain in his heart.

Somewhere, deep down, he had wanted Tigerstar to come home. He'd hoped, all along, that if they fought, that the broad-shouldered warrior would realize his mistakes. But they hadn't fought. They hadn't had a chance. And now he was dead. And it felt as if a part of himself had died with the Shadowclan leader.

"Firestar? Are you okay?" Graystripe whispered beside him.

The ginger tom nodded slowly, "I will be . . ."

His paws were still stained with Tigerstar's blood as he made his way back to Fourtrees late that night. He didn't bother to wash them. To taste that blood. No. Let it stain. Let it remind him of how he'd failed.

No one had bothered to move the body, and it still lay in a pool of drying blood in the center of the four large oaks. Firestar ran a paw over the amber eyes, closing them forever. The grief was still there, and he couldn't make it go away. Even when he had exposed the older warrior as a traitor, he had never wanted this.

He could still see the tabby's back as he'd left the clan of his birth for good. It was burned into his mind, just as the image of his clawing at the ground, eyes terrified, as he died.

Firestar pulled his body out of the blood, dragging it to the roots of the oak closest to Thunderclan territory. "You only wanted what was best . . . What was best for the clan. You just couldn't see that killing wasn't the way to get it." He lowered his head, "if I had . . . If I had let you, this would have never happened. Bloodclan wouldn't be here. The dogs would have never come. You would have been a better leader than me. I can't even . . . I can't even keep my own clan safe . . . I'm forcing them to fight . . ."

All of a sudden, there were memories flooding his mind. More memories than he knew he had. The day he'd first arrived in the forest. Of the proud, muscular tabby with the amber eyes who had come home a victor from a battle. The night Spottedleaf had died, who's broad shoulders he'd unconsciously leaned against in his grief. Of the first snow he'd ever seen, right here by Fourtrees, on a patrol with Tigerclaw after he'd brought home Windclan. The lightly twined tails as Silverstream had died. Carrying the kits back to camp, shoulder to shoulder, fur brushing fur.

Firestar pressed his nose into the cold fur, trying to pick up any scent that wasn't tainted by Shadowclan. "How could you . . . How could you do this to me? You've left me here, all alone . . . What am I supposed to do now? My whole life with the clan, everything has been about you. And now you're gone. What am I supposed to do . . . What am I supposed to do!"

But even as he sobbed, and screamed at the silent stars, the anguish still remained. And it wouldn't go away. Tigerstar had been a part of him, and now he was dead.

RANDOM AUTHOR RAMBLE

:D yyaaaaayyy TigerFire. I was skimming the scene where Tig dies for the fabillionth time in my life, and decided, "ah, let's read the chapter after that too." And omg, there's TigerFire there. In chapter 23 of Darkest hour. *thumbs up* it talks about Firestar's Grief and then he's says quietly to Tig, "We need your strength, Tigerstar." So I wrote this. *dances* but it made me cry. I freakin LOVE Tigerclaw. O_O so I hate that he died. Just like I hate how Ash died too. :P and also, this was based off of the fact that the Erins never said who buried Tig. They obviously didn't just leave him there, and his own "clan" bolted when he died. So it was Firestar then. *humph* and maybe I'll write one more little oneshot on TigerFire right now too, cause I need something to do while I'm dieing of Swine Flu. :{


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